And they’re off! Yes, the race has begun. It’s a bit like one of those cycle races with strange names, where the competitors dawdle around for a while and then it all happens at the last moment and the winner crosses the line. Of course I’m talking about the 4th July General Election for the UK parliament. I’m not going to discuss the choice of dates – sooner is good – or Sunak’s drenching. I’m just hoping the Tories sink. I’m not looking forward to six weeks of endless nonsense (and lies) being spouted by spokespeople from most sides. The Tories will spend their millions on trying to convince us that the chaos of the last few years, their bungling of major decisions and their mean and bigoted treatment of all sorts of people shouldn’t stop them being given the chance to go on for another five years. The current Labour lead in the opinion polls will no doubt ebb away but I hope that it remains above the mark needed for a victory. Not that I’m in love with the Labour party or its leadership, but I will support (almost) anything to get rid of the Tories.
What I’m really looking for is a party that tells the truth. Firstly that climate change, environmental degradation and biodiversity loss, is real, critical and must be dealt with. Adopting a green economy will cost no more than pursuing the present course of supporting fossil fuel companies while increasingly paying for the damage caused by climate change, etc. Secondly, that Britain is no longer an Imperial superpower. In fact it is weak, vulnerable and lacking any real influence. We need to be close to a larger more influential group such as, er, Europe. Thirdly, yes, the world is an increasingly dangerous place (see point one) with more wars the anticipated result. Advances in AI and the associated technologies are only going to increase the insecurity (deepfakes, etc). It will require an almost superhuman intellect to navigate us through that future and avoid us becoming ever more embroiled in conflicts including nuclear war. I don’t see someone of that stature in any party, mainly because modern politics does not attract the honest, altruistic intellect.
So, my hopes for a change of government are tempered by the expectation that what we will end up with will probably only be a little better. I am also annoyed that my vote is unlikely to have much effect. For the last 40 years I have lived in safe (if that is the correct term) Tory constituencies which have not changed hands while I have lived in them (although twice I moved to a constituency that had recently been Lib Dem). It will take a big swing to Labour to oust our present insufferable incumbent but I do have my fingers crossed. Proportional representation would be an improvement but I cannot see any winning party making that change.
Sit back and enjoy the show.
The topic for this week’s writing group was “to be frank” in honour of a member’s birthday. It should have offered endless opportunities but I struggled for inspiration. In the end, the following piece of dialogue emerged from my fingers. It deals with death. Now, while I often write about destruction and the end of civilisation I don’t usually deal with the intimate matter of my or anyone’s demise. It is quite a while since my parents’ deaths and, to date, no one close to me has died. Nevertheless, I do think about death quite a lot, mainly because it is closer than it used to be (logically) and inevitable (certainly). The thought of my own death has always been scary for two main reasons.
First of all is the fear of pain. I have only suffered bad pain on a small number of occasions; a few times when I had gallstones prior to having my gall bladder removed (5 years ago as it happens, while my hero Iain Banks was dying from gall bladder cancer), and once when I had a tooth removed which set off my trigeminal nerve – that was headbanging agony. So, I don’t relish the prospect of pre-death pain.
My second fear is the knowledge that I won’t wake up again; the thought that when I die my consciousness, my “self”, ends. It is illogical, because going to sleep, being unconscious, being dead are all the same – we lose awareness. I’ve been under anaesthetic a couple of times and I was totally unaware of the process once I started to count 1…2…3. But of course I woke up and knew that I had been unconscious even though I remembered nothing. I know there is no waking up from death – so what is there to fear? Nevertheless, the approaching loss of oneself makes me feel anxious. Silly isn’t it. Actually I think it is the cause of all the “life after death” beliefs. People, me included, cannot accept that they will cease to be and make up all these myths to calm themselves. They are all wishful-thinking as far as I am concerned. There is no heaven, or hell, or reincarnation. Our atoms disperse (eventually) and that’s the end of it.
So, here is “To Be Frank“. Actually the title has got little to do with the story, though I could have made Michael a Frank, but that didn’t seem right for the group.
To Be Frank
“To be frank, Michael, I didn’t think I would do it here.”
“Do what?”
“Kill you. You are panting rather a lot.”
“Well, it was a steep climb.”
“Why did you do it in your state of health?”
“I heard that if it was clear tonight, we might see the aurora in the north. I’ve never seen it and there’s much too much light in town so I thought I’d come up here.”
“You’re certainly out of sight of the town. Look at the stars.”
“So many. I haven’t seen such a number in years. I wish I’d come up here more often. Just smell the nature. It feels a long way from civilisation.”
“It’s the trees and other plants that do that. Nature is good for you.”
“Except for the climb up here. That took it out of me. it used to be easy. When we were kids, we used to play up here a lot.”
“I remember, Michael. Cowboys and Indians, running around, whooping, firing pop guns and rubber-tipped arrows.”
“That’s right, before we learned that the Indians were Native Americans and the cowboys were murderous European invaders.”
“Rather took the fun out of it didn’t it.”
“There were other reasons for coming up here. I used to come with Jess.”
“When you were courting.”
“Sort of. We had our first kiss right here on this bench, and a bit of fumbling in the grass, just there.”
“I don’t suppose kids bother to come this far these days to do it.”
“No opportunities for us back home. Eyes on us all the time. That’s why we got wed so quickly.”
“Well, you’re on your own tonight, Michael.”
“Shame Jess can’t be here too. I miss her.”
“That’s natural. How are you feeling?”
“A bit bushed. I’ll sit and watch the sky for a while. See if the lights do come.”
“Relax. All the time in the world before you have to go.”
“Am I imagining it?”
“What, Michael?”
“Is the sky not quite so dark over there. I see a green glow, no orange, and there’s purple too. It’s spreading, moving.”
“Must be what everyone was going on about. Pretty isn’t it.”
“Fancy that. A bit of activity on the Sun, all those miles and miles away, causing lights in the sky down here. Tonight, of all nights.”
“You’re right. It is sort of special.”
“I’m glad I’ve seen it. It makes a fitting end.”
“I suppose it does, Michael. I’ll let you go now. There’ll be a little bit of pain, but you won’t notice when I stop. Like you hardly noticed that I’ve been with you all your life, keeping a steady beat, well mostly. People said you were heart-broken, but it wasn’t the loss of Jess that damaged me. Perhaps you should have walked up here more often.”
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ellifont 